MANY RUPEES BUT NOT MUCH SENSE


THE FOLLOWING WAS CRIBBED DIRECTLY FROM YESTERDAY'S ENTRY IN MY *REAL* DIARY, A DAY AFTER BEING DIAGNOSED W/ A PARASITE -- which can cause dehydration -- and told to come back in two days for a checkup. It was written after walking up a HUGE hill to the hospital in awful heat and featured about a million more cross-outs and misspelled words than usual. The stuff in the brackets was added later, for clarity:

"Thurs 21 [notice the wrong date] Jan 04. Kovalam Hospital Waiting Room, 5:30 PM

"(The [nurse's] Saris are actually lavender, like this paper)

"You walk in , the fan goes on. What must they think of us?

"The [climb up the] hill has made me tre lightheaded. Perhaps not a good idea to see the Dr. a day early to tell him I'm OK, so I can go to a movie tomorrow at our appointed time.

"So nice to sit down. Sweating bullets. Looking ill, I bet [I am now, let me tell you].

"Many people here today.

"My handwriting looks bizarre even to me. At least I'm in the right place if I pass out (why am I wearing the longsleeved heavy pink top)?

"Maybe I'm delirious.

"Duh.

"Just felt faint [ie -- I almost lost it and fell forward onto the cold tile floor]

"Ut-oh.

"So easy it'd be to give into it......
....................................................................................................................................


"5:30, SAME PLACE
"After peeing (it smelled like iddly but was not so yellow as to be scary)....

"Saved self from faiting somehow. Sweated bullets. Cute-but-annoying little boy -- a miniature man, actually -- w/ red kumkum paste one his palms -- & his baby sister in the over-the-top ruffled pale yellow dress, massive makeup, giant fake mole [so evil spirits are distracted from her beauty],, shaved head & bracelts on her wrists and ankles. Saw me and cried harder. Scary white sweaty ghost.

"Sitting is good.

"That was definitely an India, what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here-moment. Looked outside @ red dust & dilapadated hut & old bicycle & greenery & thought, 'I'm so fucking far from my own safe bed, why in the hell did I decide to come here? And if I faint, will the hospital....."